It’s 11:30pm and you’re lying in bed watching reruns of Rocko’s Modern Life. You’re almost asleep and suddenly it happens. Your stomach begins to enrage. You’re hands clench as you groan from hunger. With your eyes half stuck shut, you hobble around in the dark slowly making your way to the kitchen. As you walk down the hallway, it happens again and you keel over in agony. As you wait for the pain to reside you think to yourself, “will I ever make it?”
After what seems like an eternity, you finally make it to the pantry to acquire a quick snack before you awake from your sleepy daze. Blindly thrashing around, you come across a box of saltines and frantically rip open the box, devouring one of the dry, flavorless snacks. In your haste you forget to swallow and begin to cough. You try to say water, but only cracker crumbs burst out of your mouth. You open the fridge and a light shines in the darkness like a ray sent from the heavens and you become elated.
Your once parched mouth begins to salivate with the anticipation of what you are about to consume. Your eyes water as you enter a state of natural bliss. With a sense of complete tranquility, you reach for the mustard, the last piece of Tillamook cheese and the item that sent you into the euphoric state you are in, some leftover Loaded Tri-Tip. Finally, with the speed of a cheetah, you create the ultimate midnight snack, Meat, Cheese and Crackers, annihilate the snack and stumble back to your bed in a much better daze than you arrived in.
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Meat, Cheese and Crackers
- Fold the cheese slice into rectangles
- Rip the meat into slices smaller than the cracker
- Stack the meat and cheese on top of the cracker
- Place mustard on the top of the stack
- Eat the snack